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BUST-A-BUST
words of sensitivity by Abacus
The whole thing made me feel a little queasy.

I'll admit first that, when presented with the opportunity to discuss the new breed of females in Hip Hop, strange and surprising emotions were evoked within me. What started as a grandiose idea to do an all female issue had been reduced to a simple staff symposium on our music's "other half". I proceeded with a painful and unrelentless interrogation with our ain't-nothin'-soft-or-sweet staff in hopes to make some people around the office admit to some things that they were either unaware of or just too ashamed to say. That's not to say I've been busy trying to convince everyone to get in touch with their feminine side, but I'll pout it like this. It takes a big man to admit that he likes Lil' Kim. All this seemed appropriate whilst in the midst of the full blown gender battle with musicians hoping to capitalize on the other sex's general downfalls. (e.g. TLC's "No Scrubs" vs. Sporty Thieves' "No Pigeons") But a new standard has evolved for female MC's, they have to look somewhat attractive. There's no room for Queen Latifahs or Conscious Daughters anymore. Lil' Kim raised Œthe bar' and my bar with a nice boob job. Da Brat traded in her braids and baggy jeans for a Jenny Jones makeover. Hell, even Missy is losing weight. The most prolific style is undeniably sex related and the latest batch of pistol packin', wonder bra wearin', tattoo gettin', rhyme seductresses truly mark the glam, R&B-esque requirements in the 2-triple-0. So I also made a list. With careful deliberations and consideration, I've compiled for you my top eleven tantalizing temptresses. Just like life, this list isn't very fair, for their looks played as much, if not more, of a role in the rating system. Don't worry, someday soon there will be a bra burning revolt by the fallopian flowsters.
Randy >>
How do you feel about females in rap. Is it hard to admit that they have skills?

I guess so because I don't really like any of them. I don't mind Foxy and Kim. Maybe I just don't know enough of their music. But I do like Lauryn Hill.

If you were stranded on a desert island and you only had one CD to listen to and it had to be female MC, what would it be?

I don't really know enough female rappers to make that decision, but I'd have to say Lauryn. I don't really like female rappers as much as I do female singers. But the reason why I don't like female rappers is because I can't really relate to what they are saying.

In order for you to like Hip Hop you have to relate to it?

Yes, but I obviously have to like how it sounds too though. I guess I can't really relate to whippin' a Lexus or carrying a gat.

Tim >>
How do you feel about females in rap. Is it hard to admit that they have skills?

No female rappers are good cause they are females. Shit, who wants to listen to a bunch of dudes all the time. There alotta females out there that have as much skills as any male rapper out there. They're creative too. Females... I don't know if they've progressive or if they just switching it up.

If you were stranded on a desert island and you only had one CD to listen to and it had to be female MC, what would it be?

(A long pause)I don't know dude, Foxy Brown is pretty good.

If you were stranded on a desert island with just one female and she had to be an MC, who would she be?

Foxy Brown! She's got nice tits and shit.

Does the fact that she has big tits affect how you feel about her rapping?

She's pleasing to look... Yeah it does affect. Because you don't want to see a chick who thinks she's a dude up there. Some dude battling or something.

When do you listen to Foxy Brown?

I don't, I gave it to Paul.

Meshack >>
How do you feel about females in rap. Is it hard to admit that they have skills?

These snitchez need to come correct if they want to be in my magazine. I'm talking about lingerie photo shoots. Nah, I'm cool with batchez in the magazine, but tricks can't be bugged out. Niggas ain't listening to them, they looking at them. Therefore, females need to take their clothes off to sell some records. What gets me is they all talk about the same shit. Pay my bills, where my girls at all in my grill? Satisfy my appetite with something spectacular! Basically after hearing that all day on my radio, I'm ready to put Snoop and Xzibit on some ³Bitch Please!" What ever happened to BWP, Bitchez Wit' Problems? That was my favorite rap group.

If you were stranded on a desert island and you only had one CD to listen to and it had to be female MC, what would it be?

Is it a CD, or the actual artist?

Both

On a desert island, fuck a CD. I'll just take Sole'. 2 kids with that figure? You know that na-na is tight!!

11. Amil - On wax, All Money Is Legal sounds pretty provocative. Yes her coochie remains in a Gucci frame, but I don't think I would touch her with a ten foot pole.

10. Charli Baltimore - My guess is you have to be one bad mutherfucker to appreciate Charli. The woman has photographed well in her press, but I can't feel her. If you can get over the fact that she has two seeds and that Biggie ran all up in it, than I guess you can subscribe to her Ghetto appeal.

9. Medusa - You can't be from the West Coast and not mention this lady. If you were her boyfriend you would probably call her ³old earth". She has that scientifical, god body thing going. Strictly for the B-Boys/Girls. Her purist style is cool but it has very little sex appeal.

8. Missy Elliot- You know as well as I do that you wouldn't hit it even with the lights off. But, I like her shit. The new album is bangin' and she's putting it down harder than any female on the song-writing, production, getting paid tip. If this were based on pure talent she might of won.

7. Lauryn Hill- She used to be my undisputed favorite until The Miseducation of transformed her into a Pop Diva. This is just too easy, I mean who doesn't like Lauryn? Come on, she's all grown up with a family and all that, so that kind of kills it for me. Don't get me wrong, she's like the ultimate woman, beautiful, conscious, sexy, intelligent, a master of her trait, and seemingly faithful. If I was picking a wife out of this group, she would be it.

6. Eve - This girl simply won me over with ³what ya want". The little paw prints on the bosom and her short blonde hair are attractive to me. Her arms are a little thick but she makes up for it with her healthy backside.

5. Sole'- A certified dime piece! Straight up. She definitely has the most freak appeal. I feel like I could bring her around Mom dukes, but definitely not around the boys.

4. Rah Digga - She just bumed herself up a few notches after I saw her new video for ³Tight". She has a nice, natural face but her rapping style kind of kills it for me. She tries too hard to be just one of the boys and her appearance used to follow suit. Looks like she took some advice from Da Brat and proved she can be sexy when she wants to. Excellent.

3. Lil' Kim - If this contest were held only in the bedroom, I'm sure this freak would win hands down. She can throw lips to the shit, handle it like a real bitch, and take in the butt. Yes, yes, whut? Her plastic surgery makes it official, she's the freakiest bitch on the scene. I also like her rapping style the best, but that doesn't matter to you, does it?

2. Foxy Brown - Even though she's a little soft around the edges and her backup dancers are always in better shape, I'm just a sucker for exotic mixes in women. Black and Philipino fits the bill. Maybe It's her age or the fact that she's with Kurupt (lucky asshole) but she seems to be less used up. Her face is not conventionally beautiful but she makes up for it in her body, style, and lyrical performance.

1. Da Brat- She may not have most verbal skills but damn she's fine. She's always had that diamond in the rough appeal but lately she put herself over the top in my book by showing a little more of that chocolate skin. Kudos!



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